by Gudrun Graf (comments: 0)

Do a knight in shining armour and a playboy have anything in common?


A woman usually realizes fast which kind of man she is facing: While the gigolo believes that he needs to prove his "virility" by "eating" a high number of women, the nice guy seduces by showing compassion.

The Zeitgeist makes people believe that love can be bought like a chocolate bar. But through each sexual act, two people will be bound to each other consistently!

In our time of enlightenment too, separations are accompanied by feelings of pain, failure and guilt. When a couple ends up in bad terms, the reason is related to the family of origin. There, unconsciously, profound forces have their effect, like a pattern. It seems that fate has woven confusion into it, in a pattern in which all involved parties are stuck.

What is wrong with these men no woman knows where to stand with them? They deliver the impression that they are never in a relationship - even being married! These mostly attractive men who separate after months, years or begin cheating on their wives?

We are influenced by the pattern of six generations of our ancestors. Therefore, it is easy to imagine many different symptoms and effects: There are men (and women, too!) carrying an explosive power of "separation" in their hearts. Something, someone in their souls does not believe (anymore) in happiness. In the substance of their pattern the feelings of loss, separation, sadness, lies and fear are way too present.

On the other hand, there are also those men who dream of this "big luck" to finally tie the knot with the next woman in their life. However, they suffer every time when they have - internally driven - to quit, to break up - and to move on. As a son, such a noble knight, will always be loyal to his mother. Loyal to this woman who - mostly suffering - is blaming the father of this kid for her sorrow. The son has promised to his mother to be better in life than his own father: To save her, to remain with her, to be loyal to her - even beyond death.


It is no invention that there is an order in the structure (Love's hidden Symmetry) of a family: It has always had its effect and therefore, it is not astonishing that already ancient Wolfram von Eschenbach (1170-1220) described an obvious example of the effect of an order within a family structure:


Already Parzival's father, Gahmuret, is an adventurer. Being the second-born son of a king, he feels the urge to explore the world, going to the orient where he meets a beautiful queen. He gets married to her but leaves her before their son, Belacane, is born! He will never see him...

Later, in Spain, he meets Herzeloyde, a young widow, he falls in love with. He lives with her for 2 years but then, his desire for adventure makes him leave her - before their baby is born. It is Parzival whom he also will not get to know, as Gahmuret dies soon in a battle.

Two women, both queens and widows, are left behind by the adventurer, although they are pregnant!

History tells us that Herzeloyde was unsuccessful in her plan to keep her son away from knighthood and adventure. Like his father, also Parzival married a queen and left her behind in her pregnancy.

Let's have a look at the background of the most famous womanizer of his time:

Giacomo Casanova (1725-1798)

His parents were actors. Right after Giacomo's birth, his father died and Giacomo's grandmother took care of him.

Giacomo Casanova was very educated, had different professions (he was also a cleric) but what really remained in the memory of all of us, are his erotic adventures. They demonstrate his continued search and how eager he was to serve women. But for himself, he might not have found what he was really looking for...

And now, let's look at some guys of our modern times: Knights or playboys?

Jack Nicholson

Nicholson has 5 kids with 4 women and he is unable to hide his feeling of insecurity - in spite of his diabolic appearance. He grew up with a family secret: His grandmother faked being his mother, as his real mother gave birth to him at the age of 17 - and not being married. Jack believed that his mother was his elder sister! He only got to know the truth from a newspaper in the 70ies - when he was grown up already...

George Clooney

At level 1 (parent level), it looks like there was no separation. But his father, Nick Clooney, and his two sisters, grew up with their grandmother, as their parents separated when Nick was 4 years old!

Is it the abandonment of a 4-year-old that sometimes is flashing up with George, a bit of a "lonely wolf"?

Is there a solution?

Parzival's story tells about it: For years, Parzival strays across the world, searching for the Holy Grail. The solution lies in asking the "correct question": „gefrâget sîner nôt" - what are you missing? (or according to love's hidden symmetry:  "Whom are you missing?" à my father). After having posed this question, Parzival finally reunited with his wife and children!

If all the giving and taking (the conciliation) are successful, we feel good. For this, ALL family members are required, also the missing ones (first husbands of the queens, the fathers who left too early, the denied ones, the forgotten ones...). The strokes of fate, failing partnerships or illnesses and diseases remind us of those "ghosts" who only are waiting for us to see them! Because love is: Seeing and being seen!

Then, in future, partnerships may also be successful - with the full power of your roots! 


German Version

Go back

Add a comment

You have questions or want to schedule an appointment? Simply start a non-binding inquiery


Read what others say about my work. Read my testimonialsGudrun G. Graf

Gudrun is a certified Qi Gong teacher and naturopathy therapist living and working in Vienna and Salzburg, Austria. Apart from Tao and Chi Nei Tsang, she has specialized in Family Constellations.

I look forward to your visit on: Xing,

You like this site? Please consider setting a and share it with your friends, thank you.